Vertical Boobs

When four women past the age of 55 get together, the conversation eventually gets around to aging bodies. From head to toe the list gets longer each time we meet: creases around the eyes like sun rays, crevices from nose to lips, turkey neck, dime-size freckles on the hands, knees that Joan Rivers told Lindsay Lohan needed ironing, bunions that could take a toe ring. After a glass of Sauvingnon Blanc, Lynn added vertical boobs. Once we stopped howling, Claire mentioned that she was apart of a discussion where the subject of older women at nudist beaches came up. KC said, “Gawd, just put them in your pants.”