Conversations... As Long as We Both Shall Live

What a great week when dots and spots collide and conversations go from life headlines to in-depth reports and paragraphs of dates and octopus and a salted caramel tart, movies that still haunt me, and a forest so colorful my eyes lost focus. This week held conversations with old friends, a work buddy and my son that could be put to song or hung with prayer flags.

I skipped work for a day when Jeff and Denise whom I haven’t seen in a year, came to Chicago with a friend. Alex and I decided over texts as our offices began to clear on Friday to see Cloud Atlas and grab dinner, both of which would have been worth planning. Lonni and I unfurled a Portuguese lace, figural tablecloth with zodiac signs, measured, photographed and learned the words to describe it for sale on eBay, as she dismantles her home for a move she’d rather not make.  A co-worker, not known for drama or obfuscation came into my office, shut the door in a way that made her turn completely around like a swing-dance move and said, “I hate it here.” Libby and I walked Ryerson Woods, shared a long meal where conversations started and actually completed, and saw Perks of Being a Wall Flower that surprised us in its authenticity and brought us both to tears.

In nearly every set of discussions the topic of the future occurred. We all have one, for as long as we both shall live... Alex talked about his near term vacation trip to Japan and upcoming new job responsibilities. My co-worker Teresa looked for a way to get beyond that day’s frustration, not a new job, Jeff and Denise described traveling home to France and then to Italy, with Thanksgiving in-between. And Lonni who’s making a cod liver oil move for mobility sake, that takes her from her garden, gorgeous built ins and tree tops to a condo and allows her a time to write and make art again.

Me, I examine and adjust the columns I continue to use to choose my future: Accessibility to Family and Friends, Interests, Money, Location, Health, Comfort. Every time, when asked - whatever I’ve been mulling most recently gets discussed first, but I don’t come to a decision.

I posted an article from the Wall Street Journal this week which described a couple who sold their home to become virtual vagabonds. They live in different towns all over the world for months at a time, their belongings in storage. Waiting for Perks to begin, Libby asked if I’d want to live that model, her twenty seven year old daughter sent her the article and said she wanted to do that now.  For me, I recognize that way of living certainly speaks to interests, location and maybe comfort, but accessibility to friends and the money aren’t aligned. “No, I told her, I just liked learning about the option.” Maybe there is something in-between, maybe we create our own social network of places to stay among friends. This nugget morphed into the Friends with Beds post below to explore the idea.

Clearly, I am still exploring, though I feel I am way behind. By now, my parents knew they would retire to Florida, they’d narrowed it to the Florida Gulf coast, but were still choosing a town and a style of home. Each year they’d vacation in a different place even testing a mobile home among the condo and single-family homes. I don’t have a vision for where or how I will spend my time, though friends have advised to let that go until you punch the last time clock…but I can’t imagine walking into such a void. I just feel behind... and alone in the decision.

Coaching and writing continue to feed me. I do both now but on the side and rarely for remuneration. In neither have I found my voice, but I continue to receive positive feedback for both. Working for someone else remains safe. The paycheck, benefits, obligatory social network and the sense of contribution offer comfort on all levels.   Consulting is a possibility… maybe I should call it weaning.

The conversations this week propelled me into new thoughts. They taught me and they touched me. I am forever grateful to the people in my life and always wish them the best as they move into their future for as long as we both shall live.