What Does My Solo Show Mean? Consciously Counting the Beats to My Next Cymbal Clang

If you've followed my posts, you've read about my path, development and process of becoming an artist. I refer to myself as that now, though it still feels a bit clumsy or maybe pretentious as it rolls out, but it's incorporated into my life in so many ways. It's how I spend my time, my vacations, my money; it's in my clothes, those with and without paint. It shows in the special but ugly light fixtures in my "studio"  and, the renovations that created better storage for equipment, supplies and paintings that haven't found a home. I bristle at the word "hobby", yet the IRS has a definition I can't deny, but I'm still an artist, even if leaning toward starving in the metaphoric sense.

Up until now, I've referred to myself as a beginner painter. I've been aware that I've moved through phases used in the training industry. I showed unconscious incompetence, when I asked an early teacher, "why?" when he told me I needed to learn to draw. I approached conscious incompetence as I struggled with making landscapes recede or shadows lengthen correctly,  to conscious competence where I seem to reside most now as I struggle with consistency in my painting processes and intentionality with each brushstroke, it's like the percussionist in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra who moves his lips and counts the beats preparing for the next cymbal clang or drum bang.  And, sometimes, there are inklings of the next and last phase, unconscious competence, when I put down a stroke and it's right and I know it, and I leave it.

This show marks the end of the beginning. No doubt, I will continue to move through consciousness and competence as I continue to paint and improve my painting. This end allows me to forge a new path and direction, not letting go of what brought me here, but building on it.