Longe Life Lesson 2,044 - Spilled Dirt

Trip over the rug while carrying plants before you vacuum. 

Longe Life Lesson 4,360 - Ankle Length Sweaters

Step away from the toilet before dropping your ankle length sweater.

Longe Life Lesson 659,351 - iPads and Babies

if you use an iPad as a babysitter, put the baby AND the iPad on the floor.

Longe Life Lesson 428,854 - Apparrel

Never wear a red shirt to Target.

Longe Life Lesson 457,326

In thirteen years, my cat has never once, gone where I wanted her to go,

stayed when I wanted her to stay or done what I wanted her to do.  A cat is not better than an Oreo.

Longe Life Lesson 861,139

When seeing one’s Ex and he tells you how he and the new wife do blah blah blah, and it’s exactly what he did with you and it drove you crazy, do not grin like a baboon immediately. 

Longe Life Lesson 195,771

Laying clean laundry on the bed next to the clothes being packed results in taking too much stuff on a trip.

Longe Life Lesson 455,001

The cat is not as innocent as she pretends. Spider plant babies do not jump from the spider-plant umbilical cord by themselves.

Longe Life Lesson 539,863

Brown sugar put away in less than airtight conditions should not be left in the cupboard on the edge of a shelf above the china cups and saucers.

Longe Life Lesson 539,862

Never fill the empty cat bowl with kibble without wearing glasses; extra thick gravy will result in the water bowl.

Longe Life Lesson 274,721

While putting on your socks, never lean on a chair that twirls.

Longe Life Lesson 263,411: One Night Stand

When writing an invitation to conference speakers, proof read the specifics. Perhaps some would prefer a one night stay to the one night stand offered.

Longe Life Lesson 624,775

Dressed in a white sweater, it's better to let a blueberry roll off the counter top than stop it with one's tummy.

Longe Life Lesson 645,998 - Personal Hygiene

Slathering on lavender lotion before flossing makes for an indelectable herbal flavor.