Longe Life Lesson 87,493 Vitamin Mod Podge

Longe Life Lesson 87,493: Do not mindlessly open and pour the weekly vitamin dosages with the Mod Podge next to the pill case.


p.s., I have two NewYears resolutions. The first is to take my reusable bags INTO the grocery store. The other is to read the direction on labels, even though I know them. So, for example, in just the few short days since the beginning of the year, I realized I make oatmeal wrong. Plus, I use toilet-bowl cleaner wrong too. 10 minute waiting period... who knew? Basically for both of them. 

I like my way... the special fast, fruity, nutty special Mary Longe oatmeal process.And, as for the toilet cleaning,   I usually come back hours later. And, by the way, did YOU know the brand is actually Mod Podge, not Modge Podge?  Since the 70s I've called it that. I guess it's another "undertoad" moment from John Irving's The World According to Garp. Anyway, my point is... read the labels and wait ten minutes. 

Not So Rare Coins and My Adventure with Coinstar

When did banks stop taking coins? I nearly dislocated my shoulder hauling coins to redeem for light-weight cash. I went to my bank where a kind teller told me they no longer had a coin machine and directed me to what she called, “the neighborhood bank”  across the street, (I’m sure her branders wouldn’t love that, but in the land of Marshall Fields and his motto of “Give the lady what she wants” it worked for me.) 

Unfortunately, though they had a coin machine, because I didn't have an account they would change me 5%.  Yikes. No thank you. That teller directed me to the Coinstar Machine located at the Jewel grocery store. I headed there with my painfully heavy bag o’ money and in the back of my head, a thought that it would be a rip off too, but I wanted to check it out.

Hoisting the bag onto my other shoulder I found the machine wide open and the Coinstar maintenance man taking it apart. I shopped for his suggested ten minutes and learned that I should shop there more often for fish if I want to save money. Anyway.

I had salmon in hand and my money now in a cart where a toddler would sit. I wondered if carts had weight limits. The money weighed about a sixth grader. By the time I got back to the Coinstar machine, the guy was spritzing and polishing it. He closed it up and nodded toward the nicely cleaned and maintained machine. It was the nod of the cowboy sheriff Longmire. As he sauntered away, I read the directions on a video screen.

Pour money there. I did. I was glad I culled it and taken out all the foreign coins, buttons and bottle caps and separated the coins in three separate bags. You are instructed to put the money on a grid that looks like a siv, lift the handle and guide the money into the slot. I’d poured in so many coins I couldn’t see the slot. It reminded me of a paper shredder and just like those, it stopped every now and then, but better than a shredder, it made encouraging comments. "My, you have a lot of coins, wait till we catch up." The machine was noisy in a very satisfying way. Money dropped and clinked and sifted. The screen counted its progress, the amount and the number of coins by denomination. I happened to put in a bag of pennies first so the amount built with lots of noise but slowly. I poured dimes on top and the amount multiplied, well, ten times per coin. Cool. Then I added the huge bag predominantly filled with quarters and nickels as well as a few pennies and dimes that I’d tossed in from a stash I found at the last minute. In all, $187.36 to strain my clavicle, not bad, though I didn’t get cash.

Instead, I learned that I could choose. To take cash meant paying a 9% rate… whoa! Nearly double the bank's rate. I learned for no fee, I could get a gift card. I looked through the list of stores. There were loads of options, but none where I plan to spend that much cash in the near future. I chose the non-store-retailer, Amazon. Once I did, the machine printed out a receipt with a secret transaction number which I immediately redeemed as a gift card for my account. The money has no expiration date. It doesn't generate interest like it might if I put cash in a bank. Oh well. It’s now there to fund those one-click purchases I seem to make for my Kindle just before getting on a plane, or the new Justin Bieber album - just kidding.   

Coinstar didn’t exact a pound of flesh as I expected. I actually liked the experience. As I think about it, that amount of cash accumulated since I moved in 2011. By the time I am ready to redeem a bag of coins again, they will probably be extinct. Also, let me say right now, I am not going to help anyone go through their coins unless I get 25%. It is a thankless, tedious task.

In a subsequent post, I'll explain my new relationship with five dollar bills. They are much lighter and better than saving quarters, except there's no satisfying ting-dinging of the metal sifter. I will survive. 

Rare Coins, The Big Short, Longmire and the Ignorance of What is True - A New Years Reflection

Happy New Year!

I want to write about coins today. I’m working on one of my resolutions, well, one of the resolutions still on the books from last year… procrastination. Instead of dishes, I’ve spent this morning going through an oatmeal box of coins looking for wheat-pennies, all-silver and In God We Rust Kansas quarters, so that I will get rich quick.

Not that the mess from last night is that big. I fed four of us soup – 4 bowls, 4 spoons, 4 glasses, placemats, a cutting board, knife, spoon and big pot. We were rushed to get to the theater to see The Big Short, the movie from Michael Lewis’ book (he wrote Money Ball and Flash Boys too) that explains the “housing bubble” that decimated the US and world economies. 

Anyway, as I mindlessly sifted through the grimy money today, I kept thinking about how this bank event set off the multiple moves I’ve made and redirected my life all because I ignored what was true. The sub prime mortgage I got into in 2002 allowed me breathing room at a time when my business was in a down turn. Eventually, it turned toxic for me.

The banker was the same guy who’d given me a line of credit in 1987 as my business grew. The line smoothed the ebb and flow of expanding and contracting inventory and receivables. I drew against the line to pay for inventory and paid it off when projects completed.  After Y2K and September 11, our customer mix changed to fewer but larger tickets. I could clearly see that cash no longer flowed. There was too much time between the time we ordered and the time we got paid. Policy adjustments and many other solutions didn't do the trick. 

Unlike one of my favorite scenes in Longmire, the Netflix crime show set in Wyoming (really New Mexico) I didn’t act on what I knew to be true. Sheriff Walt Longmire after recognizing a critical clue to his case, slams down a pair of boots near a chair on his front porch (facing the meadows and mountains, of course) and says, “I need new boots.” For several episodes, up to this point, he blamed this one despicable guy for the heinous crime that we viewers know the guy didn’t commit. Walt is invested in hating this guy. His deputy says, “what…?” Walt relates that when he was eleven or twelve, he got a pair of boots he loved just as his feet began to grow fast. He kept wearing the boots and getting more and more blisters till he just couldn’t walk in them any more and took them off for good.

The banker gave me a new, larger line of credit at his bank, with the stipulation that I needed to open an account there.  I agreed to refinance my mortgage but stood firm that I wouldn’t put the house against it.  I did have to personally sign for it, however, that in the end is about the same. The mortgage went into its adjustable phase and began climbing… from $1100 to over $2000 in a blink. I couldn't refinance again, because my credit scored had plummeted. My son finished college in April 2008 and I immediately sold the house at a 69% profit and moved to a rental with him until we both figured out our next steps. The proceeds allowed me to pay off remaining debt. He got a job and moved out. My timing was fortunate, the bubble completely exploded later in October 2008, my buyers took a 60% bath when they sold it in 2013.  

Michael Burry, MD, was the first to realized that the mortgage defaults would begin in earnest in early 2007.  He and the other groups of people portrayed in The Big Short didn’t really do anything to make people aware of it or stop it. In fact they hoped to profit and did make millions when it happened. The movie tries to make these guys somewhat less deplorable as they have their epiphanies that millions of people would lose their homes and livelihoods.  But, that’s not my point; they did nothing illegal, actually or anything amoral. The movie makes it clear that the US government, the ratings agencies and the banks knew, did nothing and weren’t punished. That is wrong, but still not my point.

My point is that it is really easy to miss and even easier to ignore the signs when you’re invested in something being different than it is. For two years my business didn’t turn a profit and I couldn’t pay off my line of credit. I tried new marketing, changing the product and looking for new markets. Really… I couldn’t picture a future. I couldn’t see why anyone would hire me, or what I could do. My feet no longer fit in any boots.

I want to say that I didn’t see the signs, but that’s not true. I saw them, I felt them and I ignored them. Walt didn’t ignore the last sign. I stopped walking only when there was no where else to go... but close the business. He got the right man with great pain to himself. Though I could have done it more on my own terms, I didn't, I let things happen to me, like the line of credit and all my other creditors coming due. I chose to ignore it, in hopes of finding the next bigger project, the In God We Rust Kansas quarter. 

It’s still fun to sift through coins hunting for the 8 types of rare coins and instant riches. It gave me time to think about the movie and especially about any signs I currently ignore. That’s a good thing to be doing on New Years Day. The dishes can wait.

Are you wearing boots that you love but they no longer fit?

ps. Just to be clear. I loved the Big Short. After hearing him live last summer, I have the utmost respect for Michael Lewis as a writer and researcher. 

pps. I love Longmire too, though I am still binging and hoping I can find something like the dishes to keep me from getting through the rest of season 4 . 

pops. Longe-mire- might be a good name for this sense of ignorance of things I know to be true. 

Socks in Box - But Not a Sock's Box at Longe Christmas

Jessica, my son's girlfriend received the first gift to open at our family Christmas Eve celebration after we toasted with Veuve Clicquot bubbly. Immediately a question of where it was made in France arose but the answer wasn't on the bottle. Though out of sequence for the usual festivities, I handed her a package and told her that the answer would be found there. As she ripped off the first revealing strip of wrapping paper, her voice rose with excitement, "we have our own bottle!"

"In this household," I reminded her, "Don't ever trust a box." She found a nice pair of Smart Wool socks in the pretty orange box. The answer wasn't on the box, either.

We returned to the usual progression of events, first up - stockings. I'm pretty much the stocking keeper for our family. As adults we all contribute. I stuff my contribution that follows tradition of a little candy, maybe peanuts and small silly or practical items. This year two stockings had measuring spoons I'd picked up at a trade show in the original "Innovate IT" packaging, a peanut butter and chocolate bar for Alex, dark chocolate caramel's for Karen hair bands for Jess and other stuff I'd found and stashed over the year. When Jess and Alex arrived, he saw the stockings, told me not to look as he added to them. When Karen arrived, she told us not to peek and added more. Though no ritual for opening, we pretty much go round the room, watching one person at a time take something out and commenting. Two salts from Iceland were the first items I found - over the years I've realized it's good to have a world traveling stocking-stuffer family members.


Alex found a 3" rubber chicken. Not from me, obviously it came from his Aunt Karen, also the Icelandic traveler. She and I howled as she relayed the story of the big rubber chicken she'd given Alex in 96 or '97 when he was eleven or twelve years old. For years it was passed back and forth showing up at each other's birthdays, always at Christmas and best, inbetween the sheets, hanging by the neck in a closet or in one of their suitcases. The chicken went missing, probably in moves since college. The replica was a good digestive laugh to remember that silliness.

Gift giving in our family is a wonderful expression of tradition and  humor... like the  socks and the rubber chicken. As I get older, I hope Alex will soak this up and carry the silly traditions that our parents shared with us and came from their parents.  

With Alex in grad school now and his finances tight I'd covered the cost of some items he needed in the name of Christmas. He didn't  have the usual bounty of packages. Though, he opened a Dom Perignom box (it has buttons to unlock it!) where he found a bag of dried fruit and nuts with a note Remember the suit. Silly.

At one point, I ripped the paper off a DVD tax prep program from Alex. He seems to find thoughtful, practical gifts that relate to things we've talked about. "Look at it, Mom." Socks fell out. I'd fallen for my own joke. He does pay attention. They were especially funny Rosie the Riveter socks - not the usual muscle showing Rosie, more... well, an Italian arm gesture sock, that he'd found at the Sock Magic in Santa Fe. The socks in DVD cloaking also brought down the house with extra stories of our tradition of visits to places he's studied... France and Argentina his junior year of college and this year New Mexico while completing an investment bank internship. The photo shows Karen and Alex in front of the Sock Magic store.

Our champagne turned to espresso as we wound down to the end of the gifts. My last one was a fabulous set of plein air watercolor brushes the length of pencils that makes them perfect for tucking into a purse or pocket. Like I said, Alex finds the perfect presents. I just have to remember his diabolical side that he seemed to learn from me.

Karen opened her last gift, wrapped with ribbon and elegant white sparkly paper. Inside, protected by sheets of matching white tissue, the original rubber chicken from Alex. Still smiling from Christmas Eve.

ps. Veuve Clicquot is made in Reims France. 

Best Paleo Bread... So far

Finally! I've now tried at least 15 different recipes for bread with combinations of fruits and nuts.  This one turned out to be the tastiest as well as the best texture and it's the simplest to make. From the original recipe  it took my oven a little longer to bake, but that could be due to the ripeness (runniness) of the  bananas, the size of the eggs or my oven thermostat.  

I served this with a frittata (Alton Brown's Italian omelet), citrus fruit salad and champagne for a quick Christmas Eve brunch.. Easy, festive and tasty. I put honey and grass-fed cow butter (Kerrygold) on the table and noticed that guests tried both, but it doesn't need anything to sweeten or en-fatten it.

Directions, Preheat the oven at 350, line a loaf pan with parchment paper and schmear with coconut oil. 

2 Ripe bananas- ( Mine were yellow with some softening, but not blackening)

2 Eggs (I used large organic)

1/4 C Coconut Oil

2 C Almond flour

1 t Baking Powder

1/4 t salt

2 C Mix of dried fruits chopped I used (dried blueberries, cranberries, cherries and dates, all came from Trader Joes except the cherries that came from Door County, WI) BTW, Fresh fruit will not work.

2 C Mix of nuts (I used 1 C chopped walnuts, and mixed the second with pistachios, almond slices and pecans

2 T Flax seeds

Puree the bananas, add in the eggs (I used a food processor and swished the eggs a couple times and add coconut oil.  Switch to a bowl if you're using the food processor and mix in almond flour, baking powder and salt. Fold in the fruits, nuts and seeds to distribute throughout. 

Once you mix the ingredients pour into the prepared loaf pan and push into corners. It doesn't rise, so what you see is what you'll get. Bake for 40 minutes. Test with 3/4 into it with a knife to see if cooked through, it;s not if ingredients stick to the blade. If so, put in for a few more minutes. 

After cooling it, wrap in plastic and refrigerate. Cut with a serrated (rippled) knife. 

In several other recipes that I've tried, at this point the bread crumbles. Not this recipe. The consistency is firm and chewy, and not dry or a mouth workout. 

If you make it, let me know the combo of fruit and nuts you used and if you'd recommend them. 

Thanks.